| THE WALRUS THAT HAD A VIETNAM FLASHBACK |
There have been many cases where a person who gets an organ transplant will suddenly start to behave a lot like the
person that the organ originally belonged to. (They will suddenly start to like the same songs, eat the same food, and
wear the same kinds of clothes that the donor did.) Some believe that this happens because they have a piece of that
person living inside of them. There have also been rare cases where human beings who were in need of a heart
transplant were given the heart of a pig. But there has never been a case quite like this one...
A baby walrus was born at a zoo with a rare heart problem and was only expected to live for a few weeks, but when
scientists at a nearby lab heard about this they came up with the idea of trying to put a human heart inside of a walrus
and having the first ever "Human to Walrus Heart Transplant". Because it was the only chance of saving the walrus's
life, the zoo agreed to let the scientists have the walrus.
The operation lasted for over a week, and at many times it didn't look like the walrus was going to make it, but in the end
it was a success and the walrus appeared to be doing well. The scientists decided that they would keep the walrus at
their lab for the rest of it's life instead of returning it to the zoo, because they wanted to continue to run tests on him and
monitor the long term effects of a radical new surgery like this.
Not much was known about the actual person that the human heart originally came from other than the information that
was on the "Organ Donor Card", which said that his name was Harold Baker, but shortly after the operation some of the
scientists entered his name into various on-line public record searches and were able to find the following additional
information about his this man...
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
His Military Records: He was drafted into the army during "The Vietnam War" in 1965, and while serving in the war he suffered a gunshot
wound to the stomach.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
His Criminal Records: He went to jail once when he was in his 20's for possession of an illegal weapon and resisting arrest. According to
his record he actually escaped from jail by breaking a hole in the ceiling of his jail cell and climbing out, but was recaptured later that day.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
His Medical Records: The gunshot wound that he suffered in "The Vietnam War" bothered him his entire life. Towards the end of his life
he made several suicide attempts, and he was also seeing a psychiatrist because he claimed to hear voices in his head and see angels.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
His Employment Records: He worked as a mailman and post office employee for 37 years and was forced to go to anger management on
several occasions due to losing his temper at work and eventually got fired for brining a gun to work.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
His Birth & Death Certificate Records: He was born in Hawaii in 1946 and he died in New York in 2008 from an overdose of sleeping
pills.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The walrus became like a pet to the scientists and when they weren't doing experiments on him they would take him for
walks and play with him. They even trained him to do various tricks just like a dog, and one of the tricks that they taught
the walrus to do was to fetch the newspapers that were delivered to the front door of the lab every mourning and put
one in each of the rooms, but after doing this for several months the walrus became extremely disgruntled and sick of
doing it, and one morning as he was delivering the newspapers he walked into the office that belonged to The Head of
Security of the lab. (Who wasn't in the room at the moment.) The walrus wobbled across the room and placed a
newspaper on the Security Officer's desk, but the news paper rolled off the desk and went underneath it, so the walrus
crawled under the desk to try to retrieve it, but while he was under the desk he found a hidden gun attached to the
bottom of the desk. The walrus grabbed the gun, stood up, and pointed the gun at his head...
"Don't Do It" A little voice in his head told him...
"Do It!" Another little voice in his head told him...
The walrus was just standing there debating on whether or not he should pull the trigger, when all of a sudden the Head
of Security walked in the room and saw what was going on. The Security Officer ran and football tackled the walrus to
the ground and attempted to restrain him, but the walrus was putting up a huge struggle and couldn't be handcuffed, so
the Security Officer dragged him to a lab across the hall, locked him in it, and went to go get back-up.
The walrus went berserk and started grunting and knocking over everything in the room. He was knocking over all of
the chairs and tables, but then he knocked over a big shelf that was full of test tubes containing various kinds of
genetically modified growth hormones and all of the test tubes fell to the floor and shattered. The walrus was sitting in a
big puddle of growth hormones, and not knowing any better he started drinking from the puddle and then suddenly he
started shaking all over, and then his whole body started growing larger...
The walrus grew a foot taller, and then another foot, and another foot, and another foot, until he got so big that he burst
through the laboratory ceiling headfirst and he didn't stop growing until he was over 100 feet tall! When the walrus
stopped growing he crawled out of what was left of the lab, stood up, and looked around, and because he was so tall
one of the first things that he saw was the ocean and it made him homesick, so he started heading for it.
The only problem was that there was a big city that was between the walrus and the ocean and the only way for the
walrus to get to the ocean was to cross the city...
It was a peaceful and quiet afternoon in the city, but the peace and quiet quickly turned into chaos and screaming as the
people in the city saw the giant walrus approaching the city. When the walrus got to the city he wasn't trying to hurt
anybody. (He was bumping into buildings and crushing cars on accident, but in reality he was just as frightened as all
the people were.)
The Armed Forces were called in and they surrounded the walrus with tanks, helicopters, and soldiers on foot, and the
walrus just covered his eyes as they opened fire on him. Over 1,000 soldiers were shooting at him from all directions,
but the bullets were just bouncing off of his blubber and wasn't really hurting the walrus, but then they brought in a really
big cannon and shot him with a cannon ball right in the stomach. When the cannon ball hit his stomach the walrus
quickly uncovered his eyes and grabbed his stomach in pain, and then he looked down and saw all of the souldiers
shooting at him.
The walrus just stood there with a dazed look on his face, just watching the army shooting at him as he clutched his
wounded stomach in pain and it caused the walrus to have a Vietnam flashback!!!
The walrus went nuts! He destroyed the army and leveled several buildings. The people were terrified. They had seen
"King Kong"; movies and "Godzilla" movies before, but they had never seen anything quite like a giant walrus that was
having a Vietnam flashback before.
The walrus did severe damage to the city for over an hour, but then the growth hormones in his body suddenly started
to ware off and he slowly shrank back down to his original size, and once this happened he was seized by what was left
of the city and was put to sleep.
THE END
person that the organ originally belonged to. (They will suddenly start to like the same songs, eat the same food, and
wear the same kinds of clothes that the donor did.) Some believe that this happens because they have a piece of that
person living inside of them. There have also been rare cases where human beings who were in need of a heart
transplant were given the heart of a pig. But there has never been a case quite like this one...
A baby walrus was born at a zoo with a rare heart problem and was only expected to live for a few weeks, but when
scientists at a nearby lab heard about this they came up with the idea of trying to put a human heart inside of a walrus
and having the first ever "Human to Walrus Heart Transplant". Because it was the only chance of saving the walrus's
life, the zoo agreed to let the scientists have the walrus.
The operation lasted for over a week, and at many times it didn't look like the walrus was going to make it, but in the end
it was a success and the walrus appeared to be doing well. The scientists decided that they would keep the walrus at
their lab for the rest of it's life instead of returning it to the zoo, because they wanted to continue to run tests on him and
monitor the long term effects of a radical new surgery like this.
Not much was known about the actual person that the human heart originally came from other than the information that
was on the "Organ Donor Card", which said that his name was Harold Baker, but shortly after the operation some of the
scientists entered his name into various on-line public record searches and were able to find the following additional
information about his this man...
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
His Military Records: He was drafted into the army during "The Vietnam War" in 1965, and while serving in the war he suffered a gunshot
wound to the stomach.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
His Criminal Records: He went to jail once when he was in his 20's for possession of an illegal weapon and resisting arrest. According to
his record he actually escaped from jail by breaking a hole in the ceiling of his jail cell and climbing out, but was recaptured later that day.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
His Medical Records: The gunshot wound that he suffered in "The Vietnam War" bothered him his entire life. Towards the end of his life
he made several suicide attempts, and he was also seeing a psychiatrist because he claimed to hear voices in his head and see angels.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
His Employment Records: He worked as a mailman and post office employee for 37 years and was forced to go to anger management on
several occasions due to losing his temper at work and eventually got fired for brining a gun to work.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
His Birth & Death Certificate Records: He was born in Hawaii in 1946 and he died in New York in 2008 from an overdose of sleeping
pills.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The walrus became like a pet to the scientists and when they weren't doing experiments on him they would take him for
walks and play with him. They even trained him to do various tricks just like a dog, and one of the tricks that they taught
the walrus to do was to fetch the newspapers that were delivered to the front door of the lab every mourning and put
one in each of the rooms, but after doing this for several months the walrus became extremely disgruntled and sick of
doing it, and one morning as he was delivering the newspapers he walked into the office that belonged to The Head of
Security of the lab. (Who wasn't in the room at the moment.) The walrus wobbled across the room and placed a
newspaper on the Security Officer's desk, but the news paper rolled off the desk and went underneath it, so the walrus
crawled under the desk to try to retrieve it, but while he was under the desk he found a hidden gun attached to the
bottom of the desk. The walrus grabbed the gun, stood up, and pointed the gun at his head...
"Don't Do It" A little voice in his head told him...
"Do It!" Another little voice in his head told him...
The walrus was just standing there debating on whether or not he should pull the trigger, when all of a sudden the Head
of Security walked in the room and saw what was going on. The Security Officer ran and football tackled the walrus to
the ground and attempted to restrain him, but the walrus was putting up a huge struggle and couldn't be handcuffed, so
the Security Officer dragged him to a lab across the hall, locked him in it, and went to go get back-up.
The walrus went berserk and started grunting and knocking over everything in the room. He was knocking over all of
the chairs and tables, but then he knocked over a big shelf that was full of test tubes containing various kinds of
genetically modified growth hormones and all of the test tubes fell to the floor and shattered. The walrus was sitting in a
big puddle of growth hormones, and not knowing any better he started drinking from the puddle and then suddenly he
started shaking all over, and then his whole body started growing larger...
The walrus grew a foot taller, and then another foot, and another foot, and another foot, until he got so big that he burst
through the laboratory ceiling headfirst and he didn't stop growing until he was over 100 feet tall! When the walrus
stopped growing he crawled out of what was left of the lab, stood up, and looked around, and because he was so tall
one of the first things that he saw was the ocean and it made him homesick, so he started heading for it.
The only problem was that there was a big city that was between the walrus and the ocean and the only way for the
walrus to get to the ocean was to cross the city...
It was a peaceful and quiet afternoon in the city, but the peace and quiet quickly turned into chaos and screaming as the
people in the city saw the giant walrus approaching the city. When the walrus got to the city he wasn't trying to hurt
anybody. (He was bumping into buildings and crushing cars on accident, but in reality he was just as frightened as all
the people were.)
The Armed Forces were called in and they surrounded the walrus with tanks, helicopters, and soldiers on foot, and the
walrus just covered his eyes as they opened fire on him. Over 1,000 soldiers were shooting at him from all directions,
but the bullets were just bouncing off of his blubber and wasn't really hurting the walrus, but then they brought in a really
big cannon and shot him with a cannon ball right in the stomach. When the cannon ball hit his stomach the walrus
quickly uncovered his eyes and grabbed his stomach in pain, and then he looked down and saw all of the souldiers
shooting at him.
The walrus just stood there with a dazed look on his face, just watching the army shooting at him as he clutched his
wounded stomach in pain and it caused the walrus to have a Vietnam flashback!!!
The walrus went nuts! He destroyed the army and leveled several buildings. The people were terrified. They had seen
"King Kong"; movies and "Godzilla" movies before, but they had never seen anything quite like a giant walrus that was
having a Vietnam flashback before.
The walrus did severe damage to the city for over an hour, but then the growth hormones in his body suddenly started
to ware off and he slowly shrank back down to his original size, and once this happened he was seized by what was left
of the city and was put to sleep.
THE END
